Katlego Sekhu
A listener shares that her past two marriages have failed. She has now found love again, and she and her fiancé are in a happy place.
Her soon-to-be in-laws have sent a letter asking for her hand in marriage. Her father has suggested that this time around, they should keep things small so they can get the proceedings done and dusted.
He reasons that her past two celebrations ended in failed marriages. She and her new partner, however, want a grand celebration. She feels that her family is punishing her for her past mistakes.
Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous wants to know if there are any blind spots she could be overlooking.
“I feel like I’m being punished for my past. I’ve been married twice before, and now I’m preparing to get married for the third time. Last month, we received a letter from my partner’s family, and my future in-laws are expected soon for lobola negotiations. But my dad sat me down and told me that, because I’ve already been married twice, this time it should be only about lobola negotiations – no cash exchanges, no big white wedding.
“Just a small ‘msebenzi to welcome ‘mkhonyana after the negotiations. No “making noise”. I understand where he’s coming from. I know he’s trying to protect me – and maybe the family – from talk and judgment. But at the same time, this is my partner’s first marriage. He’s excited. We’ve both been dreaming about this moment and planning a proper celebration with our loved ones. Now I feel stuck in the middle. I don’t want to disappoint my father or come across as disrespectful… but I also don’t want to rob my partner of experiencing his first marriage fully.
“Is it fair for my past to dictate how this new chapter is celebrated? Do I honour my father’s wishes and keep it small… or stand my ground and have the wedding we both want? How do I balance respect for my family with the happiness of my future husband – and myself?”
To hear the full blind spot, listen to the podcast.
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The post ‘My dad says my third wedding must be low-key because I’ve been divorced twice’ – The Blind Spot appeared first on KAYA 959.
